For Katie: The Angel With A Warrior Spirit

Author’s Note:  This article was written in July 2011 when Katie was first born.  Her birth and life brought people together and sparked the formation of Katie’s Fighters, a non-profit organization that raises anencephaly awareness and helps families affected by anencephaly.  The community followed her progress as she passed major milestones like her 3-Month birthday and we all hoped that she would endure.  As the months passed, Katie’s health worsened.  Very sadly, Katie passed away April 2012.  

The original story follows that was written when her family, friends, the community and even strangers around the world waited each day to read about Katie’s progress on the Katie’s Fighters Facebook Page hoping to find news that she was still alive and fighting.  Each of those mornings were joyful reminders of miracles and thankfulness because Katie defied the odds for another day.   Katie’s family and Katie’s Fighters continue to help families through diagnosis and loss and Katie is forever in our hearts.

**********

Kaitlin Mary was born on a Wednesday. She breathed and cried for the first time on July 13th, 2011 just after noon. Her mother carried her for thirty-eight weeks. She was born small, weighing just 4 pounds and an ounce and she stretched her legs to fifteen and a half inches. She is called “Katie” by her father and mother, her older sister, and the many, many other people who love her.

She was born an anencephalic baby.  She was born. But, she was expected to die. Doctors told her parents her newborn affliction was “incompatible with life”, a woefully clinical euphemism for what it really means. And, also woefully inaccurate. You will see that she is full of life.

During the months leading up to birth, most parents excitedly plan their newborn’s first photo shoot, what matching outfit will be worn home, or maybe what nursery decor will welcome their healthy baby.

Dawn and Michael made funeral arrangements. They selected a casket. They put the coroner’s number on speed dial. They ensured a priest was on stand-by so their daughter could be baptized. They explained to their five year old, that her baby sister will be born, but that she will go to Jesus quickly. They picked out a welcoming outfit. And then they picked one to bury her in.

Katie was sent home with her parents, barely weighing four pounds, about the size of a gatorade jug. The doctors let her go without much accompanying instruction despite her intense ailment and low birth weight because of the fatal prognosis. Her parents wanted her to ascend from home. They had the paperwork to fill out. They had their neighbor-Sheriff’s number to notify upon Katie’s passing. They had what they needed.

But, she lived. At this writing, Katie has celebrated nine birthdays, one for every 24 hours she keeps fighting.  Everyone hopes for more. But, they trust that God will take Katie when she is ready to go. She’s just not ready yet.

Anencephaly is a serious birth defect that has left her without parts of her brain or skull. It’s a neural tube defect (NTD) which means that it occured during the first month of pregnancy, probably before Dawn even knew she was pregnant. Katie’s neural tube didn’t close all the way. Most anencephalic babies are born without the front part of the brain (forebrain) and the thinking and coordinating part (cerebrum).

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Image of An Anencephalic Child

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that each year, about 1 in every 4,859 babies in the United States will be born with anencephaly. Low intake of folic acid before getting pregnant and in early pregnancy increases the risk of neural tube defects like Katie’s. And, for reasons that are not well understood, hispanic women are at higher risk of having an anencephalic child.

Katie was born with a fleshy notch on top of her head, which is really part of her brain encasing.  Her parents dress it frequently and cover the protective bandage with a modified pink preemie cap to keep her head warm.  She was also born with a cleft palate.  This gives her difficulty in achieving a latch when eating from a bottle but it does nothing to quell her determination to do so.  She is a vigorous eater and she fights for milk the way she fights to breathe.  One of Katie’s eyelids failed to separate as well.  This lends further to the asymmetry of her face with a bump protruding where her left eye should be.  All of these facial anomalies might seem to form a disfigured baby to callous eyes.  But, the truth lies in the accepting vision of the small children who come to see her.  They see that she is small like a baby doll.  They see she is alive.  They see she is adored.  Anything unsightly perceived  beyond these three truths is an ugly distortion.  Katie is beautiful.

There isn’t a known cure or standard treatment for what ails her. Almost all babies born with anencephaly will die shortly after birth.

Except for Katie.

Katie behaves in a way that defies expectations. She was expected to die in the hospital within hours of delivery with little or no abilty to respond to stimuli. But she does more than exist. She responds.

Katie yawns…

And she clutches…..

And she smiles…..

It may seem unlikely that her smile is authentic. Even healthy babies aren’t supposed to be able to do that yet. But, if you have seen her, you know that she does. When Dawn bends down and kisses her tiny face, Katie’s mouth opens and upturns in what can only be the genuine smile of a baby in love with her mother.

Michael and Dawn expected to give birth to a blind baby. Developmental books inform that healthy newborns have poor eyesight but that they can see their mother’s face from the breast. When Dawn cradles her baby close, and nuzzles her little nose, Katie seems to open her blue eye, despite believed blindness, to see her mother. She seems to watch her, to search her. Some might think it unlikely that she can respond. But, this baby is a testament to unlikelihood. She is a miracle.

There have been many people close to the family who have reached out. A legion of women has been bringing meals to them for weeks and will continue until their vigil ends, and beyond. In April, local crafters who heard about the family’s impending struggle auctioned their wares to benefit the family and offset medical and funeral expenses. Later that month, a large group walked in honor of Katie for The March Of Dimes- March For Babies. A photographer volunteered to capture professional images of the family to help preserve these sacred seconds. And, a group of women rallied behind the family and formed Katie’s Fighters.

Led by pillars and dear friends to Dawn:  Amy H., Danielle and Amy G., the group runs the Katie’s Fighters Facebook Page. It’s a page that is only as old as Katie and already has over 300 fans. Katie’s Fighters wants to spread the word about anencephaly, the need for more research and to help the family chronicle Katie’s struggle through photos, updates and prayer. The group has formed a support net around the family and is ready to catch them if they falter, become weak or need help. Amy H. is the central point for anything that needs to be coordinated outside of Katie’s immediate care. She, with the help of a few loyal friends, manage the website and protect the family from having to do anything other than just be with Katie.

The friends and extended family who have come to help Michael, Dawn, Lina and Katie are truly amazing. But, there are not words to describe the strength, love and resolute faith of this family.

Michael and Dawn take turns sleeping every day that Katie is with them. There is brief family time where all four are up in the morning to eat breakfast, but then it is time for one parent to sleep. One must be awake and holding Katie when she faces her most difficult battle.

The family is grounded in deep faith that this experience, tragic as it appears from the outside, is still a blessing. They believe this trial, crippling for most, is something they can handle. They are firmly rooted in their trust that God would not give them an insurmountable challenge. He has given them a sad and immeasurably painful one. But they are determined to survive the unsurviveable through faith.

Dawn says her faith in God has not suffered. Rather, it has been strengthened. She never expected to have this precious time with her daughter. But, she does and she thanks God for that, too. She also says that Katie has been an inspiration for many people to renew and revive their waning faith. This tiniest of newborns has given families pause to consider their priorities in life and where their children fit in. She has made families closer and a community tighter. In just nine short days, Katie’s life has already been filled with meaning and purpose, qualities that an unfortunate many fail to achieve despite whole bodies and long, unfulfilled lifetimes.

Their daughter, Lina (short for Angelina) is one of the most remarkable girls you could ever hope to meet. She exudes a maturity beyond her years and an understanding and acceptance that she has gained far too soon. When small children see her sister, and ask about Katie’s “little boo boos”, Lina is honest and direct. “No, she has big boo boos.” And, she holds her sister’s miniature hand and kisses her with compassion and love. She is strong. She is like her parents. She is like her sister.

Many people may find it hard to imagine the resilience that this family has shown. No parent should have to bury a child and few could face such a task with the same dignity and calm. But, Dawn has a sage perspective that is simple and profound. It all makes sense because of one tiny blanket.

Dawn made a pink satin blanket to swaddle her daughter. It’s soft underside is green and patterned with ladybugs. She made it with the intention of burying her daughter in it. She never imagined that this blanket would swaddle her warm, breathing, smiling, watching, grasping, fighting, beautiful baby girl for more than minutes or hours.

When Katie’s hardest battle is over, her warrior spirit and small body will be comforted and warmed for eternity in a blanket her mother made for her, that is now filled with the full energy of unexpected memories, undeterred faith, intense gratitude, the ripples of her movement, and transcendant love.

It is a sad story but with happy parts if we can only look for them by following Michael, Dawn and little Lina’s example. When the rest of us feel weak from fear, sadness and overwhelming empathy, and when we look at our own children and we weep for joy that they are whole and safe and here, we can find solace, ourselves, in that pink and green satin blanket.

It is the tiny blanket made with love, through the tears of a mother mourning her daughter before she was born, but who who felt her cherished heartbeat for so many unpromised days, that will embrace and comfort us all.

***************************************************************

If you are interested in helping Katie’s Family through donations, services, or fund-raisers, please contact Katie’s Fighters

Via email at:  amyskye99@yahoo.com

Or Visit The Katie’s Fighter’s Facebook Page.

 

You can learn more about Anencephaly HERE.

 

All Photography Courtesy of:

By Tutu and a Bucket

Contact heidi.calhounlopez@me.com

Other Media Coverage of Katie’s Story:

Oh My Goff!  Angie Goff’s Washington DC Blog

Que Fregados

Wake Up Laredo

Pin It

65 Responses to For Katie: The Angel With A Warrior Spirit

  1. Pingback: For Katie: The Angel With A Warrior Spirit | Que Fregados

  2. Tricia – what an absolutely amazing story. Your gift for writing has captured this family and little girl in the most precious way. I don’t know any of the family, but I sure feel like I do after reading your blog. Dawn sounds like an amazing woman who has been blessed with this oh so precious time with her little fighter. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

    • Jenise- Your words are kind. The family is very special. My friend, Heidi, who took the photos- and I were pretty nervous about how to portray the situation. We talked about it a lot- and cried a lot, too. We both tried our best to reflect the beauty and strength of the family- and we are so happy that it speaks to people.

  3. What a beautifully written story about a very special little angel and her family. Katie has touched so many of our lives and I will be forever thankful for what I have learned from her. It’s such a blessing to know this family.

  4. Tricia–
    Absolutely amazing story! U have truly captured and shared this amazing blessing of this angel! The tears I cried while reading were tears of joy–I could only hope to be as strong as this wondeful family. They have set the bar of example for love faith & hope so high! Our God truly has a plan! And to Heidi-beautiful pics that tell their story of this precious angel so well:) prayers to this family as they travel this journey.

  5. Beautiful! I do not personally know this family but I look for updates everyday and love to see their pictures of Katie, she truly is a miracle. I pray that their faith continues to grow…I am so thankful that I read about Katie she is reminding me everyday of how great our Lord is! Thank you for such a wonderfully written piece :-)

  6. My nephew was born with the same condition – similar but not the same facial features – he is a fraternal twin – his twin just graduated from college. Family was given no hope for his survival – we will celebrate the twins 23rd birthdays in August. My amazing niece has worked full time and earned her masters while keeping him at home. We never know what God has planned for our lives but it has been our experience that faith and love can over come doctors predictions. Katie and her family are in our prayers.

    • Linna- THAT is an amazing story! I didn’t know much about the condition until I set to write about it- but I didn’t find much out there to give hope that she might live for more than a couple of years,if she could fight that long. Such a wonderful story and I am sure that Dawn and family will read what your write here and feel inspired. Thank you so much!

  7. Tricia.. this is so sad. I never even knew that this condition existed. Thank you for profiling their story and I plan to share it. What a strong family and truly a warrior of a baby girl. My heart goes out to them all…

    • Thanks, Ang- One of the family’s greatest wishes is to share information about Anencephaly. It’s a condition that needs more research- many people choose not to carry the baby to term for various reasons. Consequently, it is tough to learn more from survivors. Thank you for sharing it- when you post, can you link to my page so I can share it with the family? Love you, little sister. Stories like this make us all savor our bonds more-

  8. You captured everything perfectly as did Heidi! I really enjoyed working with you on it and getting to preview the photos before hand. Katie has touched our hearts in ways that some can’t imagine. Each day is a miracle and a blessing.

    ~~Katie’s Fighters~~

      • Amy, I echo Trish’s thoughts here. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to tell Katie’s story in this way. Indeed, Katie has touched our hearts in ways we could not imagine. Thanks to YOU all as well for all you do for this family.

  9. This is a beautiful, tragic story. My mother and my great grandmother both had daughters with this neural tube disorder, they both only lived for a few hours in the hospital. My cousin also had a child with anencephaly. I know the pain that it causes. This is an amazing story that not only reaches out to everyone with love and understanding, it also educates in the most profound way. People, Please…. take folic acid for months before you ever intend to get pregnant. You are supposed to ideally take prenatals for three months before yu get pregnant, take the folic acid at the same time.

  10. Trish I agree I do not know the family but after reading this and crying through most if it I feel as though I do. Sometimes we forget how precious life is. This family strength and faith inspires me. Thank you for sharing their story, and to them for sharing it with us. God bless you both!

  11. We had a son stillborn at 38 weeks. Ours was unexpected, but I do know the pain of picking out burial clothes, caskets, etc.
    I will pray for this family tonight. How wonderful that Katie has had 9 days with her family!

  12. I just want to say thank you for writing this story it is beautiful. I personally know the family dawn is my cousin. She has always been an amazing person and mother but now more so than ever. The strength and faith she has is amazing. God could not have picked a better more loving family for little katie to be born into. She is a miracle and I love watching her grow every day from thousands of miles away. Thank you again for taking your time to post this story because honestly I never knew anencephaly even existed until dawn told me about it and I’m so glad you can share her story to make people more aware and to watch katie grow and defy all odds. She is truly a FIGHTER!

  13. What a blessing this child was and to all that was with Katie thru all the time they had with her. But the love is truly amazing. Prays for the family during in this time. The faith they all had is truly remarkable. Katie was truly special child of God. Thank you for sharing this with us. Can only imagine the emotions they all went thru with katie. Katie is beautiful even with the smile she had. God bless you all.

  14. What a beautiful story! Life brings us tragedies–but this story has turned a tragedy into a beautiful love story. A story about friends love and support for a family in need of that support. It is a story of a beautiful little baby who is struggling every day. It is the love of her mother, father and sister and others in her life that keep her going. She is here for a reason. God has sent her to these special people for a reason. I was so touched by this story and the love that shines through with every word and every sentence. What a great chronicle of love for Katie’s parents. My thoughts and prayers are with this family.

    Nita Seel

  15. Pingback: Moved to tears | OhMyGoff

  16. After reading this story of a family with so much resilience I feel unable to control my tears from falling.
    Katie is a beautiful girl, with a beautiful face & a beautiful smile. What lucky girls Lina & Katie are to have a sister, what a precious gift for them both. As a mother I can’t help to feel helpless, but not without hope for this amazing family. I pray for strength for you all.

      • I can’t seem to stop thinking of this family and their story. But I wonder more about Katie, what surprises she has for today, what new faces will she pull for her mum, dad & big sis? I wonder if she knows
        how special she is? And how many people just like me will be affected by her strength? I pray that today is as special for
        this family as the past 10 days have been.

  17. Wow, this story brought me to tears. Katie is so very special and God knew you were the perfect family to love her and care for her. You have been blessed with 12 beautiful days with this special girl. thanks be to God, as she is touching so many lives each day. Hug and Prays to your family

  18. Can’t even finish reading the article, very hard on the heart – brings tears to my eyes. Katie’s family has so much strength very, very touching.

    Thank you for sharing this story.

  19. Pingback: Calling All Crafters: Helping Folks in Need | critters and crayons

  20. WOW….i had to get a tissue, i am so proud of Dawn and her husband but i am more proud of Lina..she has a big part and she is doing it PERFECT!!!!! i also dont know the family but i say “COME ON KATIE!!” every morning and check in all the time…my email is cjl678@aol.com could someone send me a address to send some cards my 6 year old wants to draw Katie and Lina a picture…and i would like to know how i can donate to the family..thank you soo much and my thoughts and prayers are for Katie to fight with might!!!!! <3

    • Crystal- thanks so much for reading it- There will be a follow-up shortly that has a link to Katie’s page where they publicize ongoing fundraisers. Right now, you can buy an anencephaly awareness bracelet. My kids and I each have one- :) Thanks, again for your kind thoughts- I know Katie’s family appreciates them very much-

  21. Pingback: She’s Defying The Odds: Katie Is 3 Months Old! | | critters and crayonscritters and crayons

  22. Pingback: C&C Community Roll-Up Friday: 8/26/2011 | | critters and crayonscritters and crayons

  23. Pingback: Anencephalycritters and crayons

  24. What a beautiful article, and such a beautiful family! Truly, all lives are precious in God’ s eyes, and each life has meaning. Even the smallest lives can teach us so much! God bless them.

  25. My sister is haiving a little girl… I was so excited to have a niece! Then my mom told me the baby has Anencephaly. It took a few minutes, but i finally understodd that the baby would die shortly after birth. I’bs been crying almost every night since I found out…. I don’t know how I am going to get through it… But, i know I will… With my loving family, please pray for my sister, the baby, and our family! :)

Leave a Reply