Since I started blogging eight months ago, some pretty cool sponsored opportunities have floated the blog’s way. I’m always thankful for them and I make a point to only accept opportunities to post about something in exchange for compensation or services if I believe in the product and would use the product myself or for my family.
Yesterday, I received a request to run a sponsored post that, although it might have been an excellent product, I just couldn’t bring myself to review.
I won’t name the product, but it’s a for a high-end sanitary napkin company.
They wanted me as a mom-blogger to review their product in exchange for free samples. There were terms in the description like: ”absorbent, odor-reducing, yeast, virus, bacteria…” and they all led up to a raving review by a woman whose “flow” was described as “dynamic”.
I might have to put this on my “Sponsored Posts” Page. Save for this post and the following disclaimer, I will never, ever on this blue and rocky planet for the rest of my natural life, describe the quantity or the quality of my flow- dynamic, static, or post-menopausally non-existent. Please, no more solicitations to review expensive maxi-pads.
But, this did give me a thought.
I like to use things around the home for crafting. So, I thought- What the Heck?
I’d offer to do the review for the company who contacted me within the scope of this blog’s humor and crafting themes. But, somehow, I don’t think that’s the review they were hoping for. So, I just used what I had and….check it out!
That pad in your purse is more than you think. Every craft box should have a few this Christmas.
Start With These…..
Christmas Barbie has a comfy bed…….
A little glitter and some markers transform a basic maxi-pad into some puffy holiday bling…..
Your kid’s picture has instant snow under the Christmas tree…..
Or you can make a modular train track set!
But, perhaps, best of all- your absorbent friend makes a freaking awesome Santa Clause. And, guess what that little pom pom is made out of ?
As if that weren’t enough, my husband had a great idea that shows just how versatile our trusty maxi-pads are. He made a……..Beer Koozie.
To the company that contacted me, I do hope you have a sense of humor. I just can’t review your product the way you want me to. But, if this is up your alley, I’ll be happy to take some of those free samples. 
Omg, I’m dying. I literally burst out laughing at your husband using it as a koozy. Funniest post ever!
Bwahahahahaha, Aleacia- He was enthusiastic about helping me find uses, too. I have an awesome hubby! Thanks for reading it!
That is AWESOME! Who knew they were so versatile?
Hahaha! I may have to make this into a series. The Maxi-pad holiday craft series.
I knew you were going to do it but I didn’t know I was going to laugh so hard!!!! Love the train tracks and the Santa! I DARE your husband to pull out his koozie at your next party
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I’m glad it made you laugh, QF! hahaha!
This is too funny! I think you have a highly original post that I have never seen on any blog!
I didn’t run any google searches before I ran it to make sure the content was our own- but I imagine it is likely that these things have been done before. By someone….For Halloween, I saw a craft blog with tampon ghosts with googly eyes and about died laughing!
Ohmygod, I just laughed water through my nose! =D The pads in my house are made of hemp and not particularly festive looking. However, they would make EXCELLENT beer cozies, doll beds, and maybe even snappy hats for wee snowmen. Thanks for the inspiration!
Haha, Desi! I think that’s a good thing? The possibilities with hemp pads are kind of cool-
You MUST post pictures, Desi. MUST.
You crack me up! We actually usually keep a few in our first aid kit in our car because they are absorbent, clean dressings for wounds. The train tracks are awesome
Thanks, Becky! I remember you telling me that about your first aid kit! The train tracks were fun. The kids DID actually rearrange them over and over again! haha!
This was the BEST product review I have ever read!!! Thanks for making me laugh and laugh!!! You rock!!!
Oh- Thank you, Elaine! My husband actually kind of helped- He thought it was such a funny idea. It was fun to do. Now, when my kids paint, they ask for the big snow pad to be put down. hahaha!
You are so funny!
Well, when I’m not accidentally offending anyone, funny is the desired result.
So funny! I knew the Santa was coming, but was completely unprepared for the train tracks and puffy holiday bling. Gotta share this one!
Rachelle, thanks for reading it! The brainstorm session was HILARIOUS with you ladies. I might have to make this into a seasonal series. haha!
So FUNNY! Love the koozie!
Awwww, Thanks!!!! I’m wondering if any self-respecting craft linky will have me. haha!
Oh no! Stop it!!!!!
I can’t elaborate any more than that. No words.
Hahaha, Chrissy! I can’t imagine the beautiful photos you’d take of your own pad crafts! Lots and lots of glitter, I imagine!
I can’t stop rolling with laughter! My cheeks are hurting
)
You have the most original sense of humour, girl! The train track is too good! I like how your whole family pitched in with ideas to turn this into a laugh riot!
The company must be grinning from ear to ear. They have the most awesome review ever. And, so many new ways to market their product! I must share this with my readers for all to lighten up!
Oh, I’m so glad you liked it, Rashmie! haha! It was a ton of fun to pull together! I didn’t use the company’s name because I didn’t want to offend them, just to be safe! But, I was still quite honored they wanted me to review their product!
Hilarious! You are too creative for your own good!
Haha! Thanks, Mimi. I write about smelting ops and re-zoning- and also about maxi-pad holiday crafting. It’s a versatile blog I run. haha! Thanks for writing in-
Are you drunk? I definitely want to hang out with you when you’re drunk.
Thanks, this made me laugh. A lot.
Oh, no, Bridget. These are the product of a sober mind. Can you imagine? We totally need to hang out, though! haha!
So now i know youre crazy…and that makes me like you all the more.
You have revolutionized the marketing for ‘feminine hygiene products’! The train tracks was sheer genius! And I spit water onto my keyboard when I saw the beer cozy!
Haha, Tuyana- Well, I have been called much worse. haha!
Can’t wait to see what you do for Valentine’s
Oh, Goodness. I hadn’t thought of Valentine’s Day, Shelley. Now, the pressure is on.
I say, “why not?” Hahaha! These are the most ingenious use of sanitary napkins I’ve encountered ever.
Why, Thank you, Ava! haha! Craft time will never be the same!
Love the Santa. Too cute.
Thanks, Lee! Maybe we could come up with some battle rattle solutions for the training at Ft. Benning?
OK- you know we just opened a brewery, right? Now I know a cheap way to hand out beer koozies!
LOL Can you imagine? “Oh, yeah that stack of pads? Just grab one and stick it on your beer bottle, courtesy of Mother Road Brewing.”
Alissa- I was thinking of you and of putting the link on your brewery page! haha! I double-dog dare you to serve a man a beer with a maxi-pad koozie. But, seriously- I can’t really imagine a better koozie. haha!
I can not stop laughing!!!!! you ROCK! Hilarious & I LOVE Santa – he actually looks pretty darn cute!
Aw, thanks, Bern!!!!! I thought Santa came out alright. Now, I’m thinking of the next maxi-pad holiday craft. haha! Thanks for commenting!
YES. This is comedy gold. I think we’ll pick up a pack to dress our toddler as a snowman.
Julie- Well, I’ll take any kind of wealth right now. My dollar doesn’t go nearly as far as it used to! The snowman craft could work. haha! Our poor children. They will surely land in therapy. haha!
That’s great! Too funny. And so creative.
Thanks, Jennifer! I had some brainstorm help from some crafty ladies and my hubby!
I could just see the tv commercial with the pads as crafting material! This is humorous!
Y’know, Mike- That wouldn’t be a bad marketing angle. It would be a differentiation marketing strategy, I would say.
I love the Post! COMPLETELY! You will make it, or better you already have made it into bloggersworld. You are original and authentic. completely yourself. Thanks for that x
Angelique- I don’t know if I’ve made it but I feel great to know so many supportive bloggers and writers and friends. You ladies have made all the difference and I couldn’t repay you all enough. Especially YOU!
Hilarious! I want a Sanitary Napkin Christmas card and a stocking made out of pads, please!
Oh, Jennifer- NOW you come up with the idea? I’ll have to start a Christmas Maxi “To-Make” list for next year’s post. haha! We could maxi-pad craft linkies. haha!
Almost the funniest product review ever .
Haha, Trish- yes, if I could have reviewed their products, I could have evaluated the “puffiness of santa’s beard”, or the tensile strength of the pads against competitors when supporting the weight of Thomas, Percy and James the trains….. I’m sure they’ll never contact me again. haha!
Best Christmas crafts ever! These are absolutely hilarious! I’m guessing that Santa will go viral on Pinterest.
Well, if anything I put out goes viral, I would be shocked. I’d be thankful and in shock. haha! Thanks for the comment!
These maxi pad companies need to back off about sprucing up Aunt Flow’s visit. Amen, to passing them up. Beer koozie, huh?
Haha, Nami! I just couldn’t do it. I’m pretty daring, but that was a little hard to do.
Oh my God-I love this! HAHA Very, very creative. But I would like to see some maxi pad tree ornaments too-and maybe an outdoor wreath-if it rains, you’re wreath grows, like a chia pet. lol.
Haha, Angie! So glad you like it- I think I’m going to make it into a series. The chia pet idea is brilliant. haha!
This is hilarious! I can’t wait til your kids are old enough to realize what the snow pad REALLY is and are like OMGee Mom! =) I picture this conversation in their teens.. I want to have a sleepover at your house I feel like 24 hours with you guys would be so fun! I’ll bring my own TP =)
Liz- haha! Oh, I bet a sleepover at our ages would be a hoot. We’d have to have wine and chick flicks with hot dudes in them. Like Thor. We could just turn the volume down. That’s not necessary with biceps like that. haha! Thanks for the comment!
Thought of you when my daughter pulled out a pantiliner the other day and said, “We can make a craft with this!” No, we can’t. No, we didn’t. But I’ll send her over to your house now that I know what goes on there
Funny you say that- I was thinking I needed to get back to my roots. haha! I came across a pessori ring (know what that is?) and was trying to figure out what to make out of it. Seriously. hahahaha!
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Just discovered your blog tonight and have now stayed up too late reading various posts and all while trying to laugh quietly since everyone else is asleep!
Alicia- I’m so glad you found my blog! I popped over to yours and enjoyed your potty training post- You’re having more success than we did at your daughter’s age!