Well, next week you can expect a roll-up of the activities we did at our son’s birthday party.  He was thrilled with how his 3rd birthday party went.  But, I’ve gotta tell you, there were a few moments that forced a small chuckle so I’m penning this post about what had me laughing during the event.

I’m doing it, the day afterward, through muscle cramping and lactic acid build-up.    It took 30 minutes to mix 170 lbs of cloud dough.  That is a punishing workout, people.  If you wanna get in shape, just make 170 lbs of cloud dough.

Here are the comedic highlights in no particular order:

#1)  I got the question:  ”Why is your daughter dressed like a go-go girl?”

I had actually been focused myopically on making the party happen.  She wanted to be Catwoman.  All her black clothes were in the laundry (naturally).  I found a pair of black tights, threw on her gymnastics skin-tastic velvet hot shorts, a black t-shirt, and okayed the black knee boots with a hot pink zipper up the calf she loves because they match.

Upon hearing the term go-go girl, I looked and realized that without the cat mask (which she refused to wear), she looked like she could have just come off a pole.  Note to Me:  Next year, wash laundry BEFORE the party.  I’d post pictures but even this blog has appropriateness standards.

#2)  Our son spent the entire party channeling a KKK Grand Dragon.

It was seasonably hot in these here parts, about 77 degrees in late January.  Our son was determined to be a highly muscle-insulated Batman despite my attempts to get him to be a more porous and lightweight Spider Man.  This resulted in him wearing his stifling Batman mask on top of his head throughout the party.

#3.  We royally messed up the piñata bit.

I planned the party and was certain I’d figured out all the possible shortfalls.  We had everything set up and realized we had forgotten about the stick.  We had no stick.  We’ve been to a lot of piñata parties so I didn’t sweat it.  How hard could it be to pull this off?  We grabbed our daughter’s plastic broom.

But, before we get to the swinging part, I should tell you that we realized the Batman piñata we bought was too small for all the kids we were expecting, so we bought a Spider Man piñata.  We strung them up together to let the kids hit both when they were up to bat.  I say, up to bat, because the broom broke and a friend ran home and got his son’s bat.

We had more than a few scares with that bat as kids kept creeping closer.  That is, the scary near-ER parts happened after the twine broke.  And we weren’t scared long because the candy started pouring out after about 5 kids hit the thing.

Kids started bawling because they didn’t get to hit the pinata.  We found out afterward that we had actually purchased two pull-string pinatas with hatch-bottoms.  Ooops.  That explains why they broke so fast.  It was that and the fact that we didn’t let the tiniest kids go first so the bigger kids crushed the thing (with that bat) early on.

At one point, it got so crazy and dysfunctional, one of our guests yelled, “STOP!  STOP!  YOU GUYS NEED A MEXICAN WOMAN TO RUN THIS THING!  YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING!”

Since then, I’ve received some helpful tips from blog fans how to do it right:  use ROPE, smallest kids FIRST, use a STICK and NOT a BAT, buy a REAL piñata (not the one with the pull-string), and make sure you have a strong Mexican woman on your guest list who knows how to take charge and knows what the heck she is doing.   For the safety of everyone, the last tip is very important.

Last piñata note-  please recall I mentioned that we had to put Spidey and Batman together.  They were facing outward at first.  Somehow, during their bludgeoning, Batman turned around.  One of the dads, yelled, “What is Batman doing to Spiderman?”

Good Question.  Note To Me:  Next year, buy ONE real piñata so that we don’t end up with trysting piñatas, again.

#4)  There were no latrines.

We paid the rental fee for the “palapa” (that’s a small park pavilion, folks).   That gave us access to electricity, the park and the “palapa”.  Apparently, the building with the restrooms next to it could have been opened if we had known to ask for the code.  We had guests that had over-filled on Diet Dr. Pepper.

Off these finely dressed men went to use the wood-line.  That image just cracks me up. Kids playing in giant basins of cloud dough.  Children swinging.  Bunny Hop races. Face painting.  And accidental photos of man-backs in that unmistakable position facing away from us at the edge of the park.

 Listen, running a classy party is a high priority for me.