Laundry Rules & How My Laundry Pile Encourages Play

It is not a secret that I loathe laundry.

It was a major topic with graphic photos back in August when Critters and Crayons guest posted on Scary Mommy about The Myth Of The Super Mom.

Many of my friends do a load a day, whistling while they toil, a tune of happy laundering.  These people are “Laundry Over-Achievers“.

I have other friends who are simply laundry “Achievers“.  They manage to pump out a load or two every few days.  Good for you.

Yet, other friends who fall into the more contemptuous category of laundry “Under-Achievers” might muster but a single load a week.

Me?  I fall into my own miserable category of “Complete and Utter Laundry Failure”.

I manage to live up to this moniker every two weeks, and sometimes longer, depending on how much clean underwear we have in the house.

Laundering success in this home abides by the sacred…

Marginal Rule of Underwear Availability

The more underwear we all have results in an inversely proportional likelihood that I will  wash  more.  The less we all have increases the likelihood exponentially.  

This Rule is inexorably accompanied by the following…

First Laundry Absolute

When any one person is absolutely out of underwear, I will absolutely do laundry after that person proves it to me first.

This is followed by the…

Second Laundry Absolute

If the person lacking clean underwear is ME, I will absolutely do laundry IMMEDIATELY.  

And it just so follows that….

We all have A LOT of underwear.

Before you go on judging me (Yes. You Are.), you should understand that it’s not that I don’t wash laundry regularly.

It is moreso that I don’t COMPLETE my laundry regularly.  I wash and dry it pretty routinely, actually.

But, it usually ends up in a rapidly accumulating, tipping mountain of clean clothing.

This is not all bad.

I have found that my lack of laundering initiative has sparked a remarkable potential to unleash the magic and power of essential Child Play.

I could explain, but I’d rather my photos demonstrated this point.  I dare you to disagree with me.  The photos offer indisputable evidence of the benefits I’m imparting to my children through hefty piles of clean clothing on my bedroom floor.  Behold:

Laundry Piles encourage athleticism.

You witness daring feats of strength and climbing when the kids play “King Of The Laundry Hill”.

Laundry Piles enable development of fine eyesight acuity and discernment of small things amidst larger, varied things.

This has been proven in games like “I Spy”-

as in, “I Spy a Little Boy In My Laundry Pile”.

Laundry Piles encourage development of a sense of civic duty and humanitarianism.

Note how my son is rescuing the miniature people drowning in our socks and t-shirts from his makeshift rescue helicopter landing pad.

And lastly,

Laundry Piles encourage Imaginative Play.

One morning, it was really cold in our house.  So our daughter hopped out of bed and grabbed something.  She wrapped it around her knees and yelled,

“I have knee warmers!”

SEE?????!!!!!!!

Don’t think that it’s not lost on me that if I were to ever stop blogging about how much I need do my laundry that I might actually do it.

To that, I proffer the following:

1)  Blogging is more fun (and look at you, reading this, instead of doing laundry), and….

2)  We’re still good for at least another two days according to my First Absolute.

So, what other uses can you think of for our growing laundry piles?


57 Responses to Laundry Rules & How My Laundry Pile Encourages Play

  1. Here’s an excuse. By delaying laundry duties, you are also avoiding the very REAL consequences of Murphy’s Rule of Laundry.

    Just in case, you do not know that rule…it is this: Once the caregiver is COMPLETELY caught up on laundry, that is the Universe’s invitation for one of the kids to start puking.

    So see, you are avoiding all that heartache for your kiddoes….cause who likes to vomit? :)

    • Hahaha, Gretchen! I forgot about the Law of Puking! haha! Thanks for the reminder and for the validation that I’m actually doing my kids a favor. :) haha!

      • The trick is never to get fully caught up. :)

        And for heaven’s sake, if you ever do, keep it secret! Then you will always have good laundry karma. :) And then you are not inviting the Universe to “bring it”…..i.e. bring on the vomit…lol…

        And my friend Sherry calls her big pile “Mount Washmore.” :)

  2. I loathe doing laundry. And to be honest, it’s just me, no kids, no hubby, just me. I have found out that I can go a whole month without doing laundry. No lie, one time I ran out of undies and instead of doing a load I just went to the mall instead and ta-da! Laundry was post-poned for another week.
    I also have the same pile of clean clothes. When it’s time to wear it I pop it in the dryer for a bit to smooth out wrinkles because I can’t stand having to iron clothing LOL

    • Selina- I used to do that all the time. But, now I find that I have too many clothes and I’m trying to simplify and get rid of stuff from years of buying things to avoid laundry. haha! Nip it in the bud….find a laundry service. (I would never imply that YOU do laundry- I’m not a hypocrite.) haha!

  3. I approve of your laundry rules wholeheartedly! I too live by the code that if you have enough undies, you don’t need to do laundry. And you can always buy more undies to keep things going.

    • Monica- I used to just buy more undies….yes, I did. haha! Laundry is just awful. Torture. :) Thanks for the comment!

  4. Just last night, I finished the laundry. When pulling it out of the dryer to fold it, I noticed brown stuff that looked like poop (sorry, just read Tori’s post) all over everything. MTM left a chocolate peanut butter truffle in his pants pocket. It melted in the dryer.

    So, I really enjoyed reading this post, Tricia. I deplore laundry, more than ever today.

  5. Hahaha! I love the rules and the benefits are amazing! Although, I rarely do laundry now, I remember the early days of marriage, my husband and I would each sit on a small chair and face each other and do laundry every weekend! It sure was fun times. Though, I loathe his very heavy pants, it was a really fun bonding activity. Then, my mom told us, we can bring our dirty clothes over at her house and she’ll do it for us. Yes! When we get it it’s already folded neatly and the office uniforms are ironed too. God bless my Ma!

  6. I think I need a laundry tutor. Mine is never done either! I think my daughter has inherited my poor habits because in high school, instead of doing a load of laundry when she ran out of clean clothes, she opted to go out and buy new ones. Now that she’s in college and money’s tighter, she has figured out that investing in laundry detergent is a MUCH SMARTER option (thank goodness).

    • Diane- I’m hoping that by watching my laundry incompetence, it will trigger my daughter into action to make sure she always has a pair of clean undies…. haha! Thanks for the comment!

  7. Thanks for the good laugh!!! I’m pretty good at staying on top of laundry, but my kitchen counters are always piled with stuff. And if I have guests come over, I take the piles of stuff from the counters and throw it in what I call my dump room (aka as the office). A dump room is the secret for making it look like you are a domestic goddess if you really are a slob.

    • Rebekah….Oh, I’m so lucky my hubby does the dishes. haha! I’m good at keeping my play room picked up. And that’s about it. haha! I like your secret tip, though. I’m going to have to borrow it!

  8. Ha, ha – you were absolutely right. I was reading this instead of doing the laundry. I do, however, fall into the “over-achiever” category only because I’m too poor or lazy to have more than three shirts and two pairs of jeans to rotate. And my bra is too small to warm anything but elbows…wah-wah-wah~

    • Nami- hahahaha! Elbows! I guess my bra does look huge doesn’t it? It’s because my daughter’s knees are so small. :)

  9. Absolutely pure brilliance. I laughed so hard. You have given all of us every excuse we need for those pesky laundry piles and knee pads laying around our houses!

    • haha! You’re so not a loser! No way! A hubby, a dog, and FOUR kids and you and you do it every single day and blog? NO FREAKING WAY. Although- I imagine you with a glass or three of wine and your husband opens up his drawer to find Taryn’s undies or the Twinkies’ socks on his way to PT. :) haha!

  10. Tricia, I have to laugh at your disdain for laundry. You know I love my laundry. Of course, the kids are grown and it’s just MLB and me, so not too bad. I feel your pain and wish I could help in some small way. I shall pray that you learn to like it more! hehehe
    Although, I would hate for the kiddos to lose their creativity opportunity. ;)

    • Mike- maybe one day you’ll live close enough to do it for me. I, in turn, will bake you cake pops. :) Thanks for stopping by! :)

  11. One or more of my family members has been known to leave the home wearing bathing suit bottoms as undergarments.

    I loathe laundry, too.

    AND.

    We don’t have a lot of underwear.

    Because guess what: I’m the only female on the planet who hates shopping more than laundry.

    Feel free to pity my children now.

  12. I am reading this instead of excavating my bead from under the laundry pile…

    LOVE this post. My favorite quote about laundry came from a friend’s status update on facebook: “Doing the Ldry. I’m going to start spelling it that way because it should be a four letter word.”

  13. This post was so refreshing! I wash and dry laundry quite frequently but it’s the folding and putting away part that pretty much never gets done. I have a permanent mountain in my bedroom. Actually I have 2 or 3…

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